CHAPTER SIX

EXTINGUISHING FLAME

 

During the 2018 Marshall Elementary School show, Ramon lamented how many of the young wrestling talent left before the show was completed.  The expectation from young wrestlers in training is that they come to shows early, help set up, and that they stay late to help with tear down, regardless of whether they are in the show.  Paying one’s dues is considered a must for many promotions training up new talent.  This commonly also means that new talent will not be receiving any financial compensation for their appearance in a show while they are still students.  One cliché used is that their efforts will merit a hotdog from concessions and a handshake.

Ramon was in a unique situation from most of the other students as he did not need the money from wrestling to try and make ends meet.  This fact has been instrumental throughout his career.  Many wrestlers who perform in various promotions dotting the landscape can really use the money and take on as many shows as possible.  The cost to buy wrestling gear, gas, food, and anything else that may come up can make the earnings from a payout quickly evaporate.  Going for drinks after a show can easily leave roster talent in the negative.  Those living paycheck to paycheck while trying to establish a career feel this sting.  The theft of a gear bag can leave a wrestler in straits as hundreds to thousands of dollars that has been invested in making a wrestling dream come to life is gone and cannot be replaced with money they do not have.  Ramon was insulated from this as he made a good income, but that did not insulate him from the damaging effect on his relationship. 

 

Through 1996 and 1997, Ramon was constantly gone to the All Pro Wrestling shows, whether he was performing or not.  He was paying his dues like a student should, in addition to the duties involved in training.  His relationship with Sandra, which had seen rocky periods over the past decade, began to fizzle and finally ended in 1998.  Ramon’s pursuit of this dream had come at a steep cost.  When a relationship of that length comes to an end, it can hit with a gravity comparable to a significant other dying.  Ramon probably should have taken time to grieve, but his career and his passion drove him to push forward and immerse himself in work and wrestling. 

Chicano Flame had been steadily involved in APW for a couple of years, but he did not have a mask of his own.  Ramon continued to use modified Mil Máscaras masks where he would put U.S. colors on one side and Mexican colors on the other, among other variations.  This changed in 1998 with an act of kindness from a well-known name in the Lucha Libre world. 

 

Ramon was working a show that featured Rey Misterio, Sr., and he volunteered to be Misterio’s chauffeur.  As Ramon was taking Misterio to the motel that night, the senior wrestler chose to address Ramon’s mask.  He had noticed the use of the Mil Máscaras mask and cautioned Ramon against continuing to use it for shows.  Rey Misterio explained to Ramon that other young wrestlers were using variations of those masks in Mexico, but Mil Máscaras did not view it as complimentary or some form of flattery.  Instead, he was complaining to the wrestling commission about these breaches, causing trouble for those infringing on his character. 

It would have been simple enough for the older wrestler to go to his room and sleep after a long day of travel and wrestling.  Yet that night, Misterio took the pad of Days Inn stationary on the motel desk, and with an assortment of colored pencils began sketching ideas for a Chicano Flame mask.  When Ramon arrived in the morning to take him to the airport, he was stunned to have Rey Misterio hand him three pieces of paper containing four unique design ideas for a mask.  These treasured heirlooms from his career are framed in his home with a copy of Lucha Libre magazine featuring Rey Misterio and autographed by the man who gave Chicano Flame a mask of his own. 

           

Ramon studied the four images and saw a theme that Misterio had developed that evening; the use of the eagle.  Ramon had been experimenting with eagles on his Mil Máscaras variants.  The eagle was a natural choice for Chicano imagery as the majestic bird is featured on the Mexican national flag and is used regularly as a symbol in the United States.  Three of the four designs featured an eagle, while one was a red and gold design that used triangles and circles in what appears to be an Aztec theme.  Lucha Libre culture traces much of its imagery to the Aztecs, which is also true of Chicano Flame who has emblazed the outline of Aztec pyramids on his ring tights for many years. 

           

The most distinct eagle design Rey Misterio proposed was a new look and a new name: Chicano Vengador (Chicano Avenger).  This is the most menacing of the three eagle variations, being a solid black mask that contained a gold eagle in profile on either side with a large, open beak that encompassed both sides of the eye area.  The eagle’s head feathers trail off the back of the mask, indicating an additional layer of ornate decoration.  This would have been the most difficult to use, and not just because it would have required a name change after nearly three years of trying to build Chicano Flame.  Ramon was wrestling as a face and has largely been a face for his career.  Chicano Avenger in the context of United States history has a more nefarious connotation as a Chicano seeking vengeance.  Who would this vengeance be against?  The most natural conclusion would be against the general U.S. wrestlers, fighting back against the negativity that Chicano’s have faced in this country.  Considering his background as a veteran and in public service, this idea did not align with the vision he was trying to create. 

           

The other two designs were very similar, in which the eagle was on the front of the mask and spread around the face onto the sides.  The eagle head was turned to the left in profile, embodied the forehead of the mask.  One version uses the eyes as part of the wings with decorative material stretching down either side of the mouth like a Fu Manchu beard.  The version Ramon settled on used eye lines that look like they serve as the body of the eagle, and a detailed mouth design that served as the tail of the eagle.  On either side of the head, wings covered the side of the face, creating a full outline of the eagle.  Rey Misterio’s initial design was a patriotic look that incorporated part of the U.S. flag.  It was this design that Ramon would use to fully bring Chicano Flame to life. 

           

Rather than try to do too much by adding flags of either country on the mask, Ramon opted to use only  the bird imagery, though it is not an eagle that appears on Chicano Flame’s mask.  While the eagle may have been the inspiration, it was the Phoenix, the mythical fiery bird symbolizing  resurrection and rebirth which Ramon used.  It was another homage to his work as a firefighter.

The principal idea was in place, but he still needed to have them made in the era before online mask makers were easily accessible.  Fortune smiled on him as within months of the senior luchador helping out the younger Chicano Flame, Ramon was in Guadalajara and met genuine mask maker.  This man was able to take the initial design and create wings that showed greater detail and added additional spots of color that could be mixed and matched with any base color.  Ramon’s collection features a host of variations; black, red, gold, blue, purple, silver, and white are all represented with unique variations in the wing, mouth, and eye colors that make each mask truly distinct, but clearly representing one character.  It had taken nearly three years, but Chicano Flame had risen like the Phoenix on his mask. 

           

The new millennium had come, and Ramon was settling into his new life as a co-parent following the end of his relationship.  He had a daughter he adored, a career he loved, and was living out a childhood dream.  Yet every wrestler knows that their life can change in an instant.  Injuries are commonplace in sports entertainment, and every athlete who steps into the ring knows that one bad move, one awkward landing, one ring partner who is simply off on their execution one time can result in serious injury or even death.  It is a risk every time they agree to do a match, and Ramon was not immune from these risks.

           

Early in 2000, Ramon found himself sidelined from wrestling; the first of several serious injuries he would sustain.  During his match he executed a drop kick from the top rope and awkwardly landed, causing his left shoulder to separate.  He finished the match in tremendous pain and had to drive back to San Francisco that night, with a car full of other roster talent, using his seatbelt as a makeshift sling.  He went to the doctor the next day who told him there was really nothing they could do; it would just take time to heal. 

           

Time for recovering from an injury is not advantageous to wrestlers who are vying for limited spots in promotions often run by people who are only interested in the next show and how the talent they have available can make them money.  There were fewer promotions in the Bay Area in 2000, which meant fewer opportunities.  Someone new is always waiting in the wings for their chance, and the pressure many wrestlers feel to fight through injury to keep their spot on the roster can lead to long-term damage from not receiving proper care.  Ramon took a second hit not long after the shoulder injury when he ruptured his left Achilles tendon.  This was a significant injury that required a recovery time of at least six months.  The start of the new millennium was almost a complete loss for developing the now fully formed Chicano Flame character.  APW promoter Roland Alexander told Ramon that he was snake-bitten.  The show would go on without him, and all Ramon could do was hope that a spot would be available for him when he returned. 

           

It is striking how the love of wrestling psychologically affects the individuals who portray these characters.  Smaller promotions are found around the United States, sometimes called independent promotions, though that nomenclature is frowned upon in some circles.  As previously alluded to, the overwhelming majority of the men and women who participate in these promotions do not make a living off of wrestling and never will.  Some use the money to make ends meet, but that comes in addition to working a full-time position, or several gig jobs to allow themselves time for their wrestling dream.  The loss of their ability to wrestle due to injury is emotionally devastating as it is what fuels their passion.

           

Ramon Barreto is something of an anomaly as he entered wrestling with an established and respected professional career.  Ramon has never needed the money from wrestling to make ends meet.  If a promoter were to cheat him out of payout for a show, it would have no significant impact on his checking account.  Through the years he acknowledges that he has spent far more money creating Chicano Flame than he has ever financially earned from wrestling.  His home is a miniature museum and love letter to wrestling and San Francisco sports, filled with thousands of dollars figurines and one-of-a-kind wrestling memorabilia, such as the Mil Máscaras fiftieth anniversary wrestling belt he had made to celebrate his icon.  He worked a couple of overtime shifts to make up for the hefty price tag he paid for the unique collectible.  For many, that kind of disposable income would take years to acquire.

           

Wrestling is not about the money for Ramon, it is about his identity.  In the 2018 interview, as he was approaching his retirement from the fire department after a distinguished career in public service, he was asked if he identifies more as a firefighter or a wrestler.  He was standing in his hallway and froze for a moment as if he had never truly dealt with that question.  He took a moment before he responded, “I think as a wrestler”.  This is indicative of how significant wrestling has been to his identity.  Choosing between his preference of Ramon Barreto the firefighter and Chicano Flame the luchador, he chose Chicano Flame.  The gravity of what Chicano Flame means to Ramon helps frame what happened next and why Chicano Flame almost never became the Bay Area legend.

           

Ramon had lost his relationship, and though wrestling was not the exclusive reason, it was a significant factor.  Now injuries had devastated him, and he had lost wrestling for the foreseeable future, and possibly for good depending on how his body reacted.  To make matters worse, he was now in constant pain from his injuries.  He was in his early thirties, and though he was by no means old, bodies start healing slower the older they get.  His doctor had given him pain medication to recover from surgery. He started abusing those pain killers to feel better. Then medication expired and he was unable to get more. As 2001 came, Ramon took his first step into drug addiction that led to four years of darkness.

             

Addiction is an ugly and fickle beast that consumes people in ways they never thought was possible.  Alcohol and substance misuse commonly trigger changes in the body, altering brain chemistry which causes the ugly cycle of needing more drugs and alcohol to combat whatever that person wants to overcome.  They believe those substances are helping them, but they are actually causing significant damage.  Ramon was hurt and he did not have wrestling to make him feel the thrill that comes with performing for an audience. What’s more, he could feel his identity as Chicano Flame slipping away.  He needed stimulation and made the  decision to try cocaine; a decision he would soon regret. 

           

The National Institute on Drug Abuse details the impact of cocaine on the system, and it is easy to understand why it is so addictive and dangerous.  That first time Ramon ingested cocaine into his system was an instant jolt of the adrenaline he had come to enjoy in his life, magnified dramatically.  His brain lit up, his senses peaked, and as he acknowledges, that feeling of euphoria that comes with using coke is profoundly real.  How long had it been since he felt this type of pure euphoria?  How long since his body been constantly hurting?  He felt no pain and felt none of the depression that had come with the loss of a significant other, wrestling, or anything else.  He was riding as high as he had ever felt.  The problem is the effect is short lived and the user wants to feel it again, so they use it again, and again, but it is never quite the same as that first time.  As Ramon put it, he was “chasing the dragon”. 

           

The use of cocaine led Ramon to discover that he could drink what felt like an unlimited supply of alcohol while high, without getting drunk.  This ability fueled his habit to go to parties and outdrink everyone, even as it was wreaking havoc on his system.  Alcohol is a depressant and overuse affects the brain’s functions, causing a brief elevation in mood before depressing the system.  People drink to feel better, not realizing alcohol actually depresses their system making them feel worse, so they drink again, and the cycle continues.  His substance abuse started slowly in 2001, but it grew out of control from 2002 through 2004. He was playing Russian roulette with his life.

           

During this period, he met Nancy and the two started dating.  Nancy was also a user, which exacerbated the problem as Ramon would go to work for a long shift, feel like it was out of his system, only to come home and find drugs in the house and ready for use.  There were times when he was going to work without having slept for a full day.  He thanks God that his situation did not lead to disaster.  Ramon was indeed putting himself at great risk.  Had his drug use caused him to make a fatal mistake, he could well have found himself in jail or prison with his firefighter career over.  He and Nancy got married in 2003, but the relationship crumbled quickly, and they divorced after two years.    

 

Nearly four years of personal darkness, and being almost non-existent at APW or anywhere else, Ramon could not take the cycle anymore.  He confided in a work colleague for help who told Ramon to call the crisis resource center available to first responders.  This recommendation likely saved Ramon’s life.  Early in 2005, Ramon entered a rehab clinic and the treatment was successful.  He defeated his cocaine addiction, and it would be eight years before he touched alcohol again, but he has maintained moderation in his drinking.  Ramon Barreto was clean and sober, he still had a career, and he and Nancy welcomed a new baby girl, Maricella, into the world in 2002.  One question remained: was Chicano Flame still welcome at APW?    

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